I'm officially homeless

This morning, I packed up my clothes and personal items, loaded everything into Rubi and took off from Linda's house.  She signed on to letting me stay for two weeks in the beginning, but it has dragged on to three.  Not sure if she realized the brevity of what I was telling her .. that no one I know offered to let me stay with them during this transition.  The job in Carlsbad was supposed to pan out .. it didn't though and that threw a wrench into everything.  I knew I couldn't work with that guy so why make myself sicker?  I was hoping Stacy would let me stay with her in Encinitas .. big house, but lots of family coming to visit as well.  I'm relegated to a hotel for a few days and then my car.  Man, this feels really weird.

Of course, leaving Linda's house today means that I'm now homeless.  I had asked Donna to put me up for awhile but she has friends and family coming for extended stays so that's out.  I talked to Danny yesterday and Brenda but haven't heard back from either.  No idea if Seth has plans for Mother's Day tomorrow but I'll have to tell him sooner or later that I'm now living in my car.  He was right after all.

Interview Monday in Irvine

So I volunteered this morning at First Lutheran Church's TACO ministry and was feeling humbled, confused and dejected.  Those sad people who come for a hot meal.. could be me someday.  I've rec'd no phone calls or emails from my staffing agencies re any potential employer wanting to talk to me.  I just reserved a hotel room for the weekend .. not feeling too on the top of the world. Though Linda has been kind to have me stay with her for 3 weeks, she's all freaked out about getting her house cleared out before Tuesday when the appraiser comes. She desperately wants to sell that house and I don't blame her. Sadly, for me, there is nowhere else to go. Only a little $$ left and I don't want to waste it. 

Then I get an email late morning from Amanda in Irvine who asks if I can come to see her Monday.  I'm thinking .. well crap here we go with another wild goose chase .. and that I'd have to rent a car .. I email her back and say I might be able to shuffle things around Monday.. she emails and says she had sent my resume to a firm in January and they want to talk to me.  JANUARY!  Seriously?  It takes that long to contact her?  Weird.  Anyway, it's Allen Matkins, who I know is a very good CA firm .. Jeff Chine and Val Hoy went to the SD office from Luce awhile back.  Can't think of any secretaries I may know in SD who I could ask about the firm.  But anyway I rented a car to pick up Monday a.m. and drive to Irvine to speak with Amanda first and then Allen Matkins at 12:30.  It's a direct hire corporate secretary job which I said I wasn't going to do again .. after that last snafu... but there seem to be no options at all on the table in San Diego so I guess I'll pursue this lead.

I asked Danny this morning if he knew anyone I could stay with for awhile.  I called Brenda and asked if I could stay with her.  Everything's topsy turvy .. I said I didn't want to be on top of Seth and Alli but I'd have to go where the work is.  Fingers crossed it's a good fit for me.

If it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium

Still on the job hunt.  I've applied to several postings in Orange County as well as San Diego this week but no response yet.  I spoke to one of my employment reps today and told her to keep on the lookout for secretarial-only jobs.. nothing paralegal.  Employers want paralegals who can hit the ground running .. I certainly can't. I have a certificate which means I'm trainable.  That's essentially all it's good for.  Shouldawouldacoulda moment.. I so wish I'd have done another program when I was collecting unemployment... don't know in which direction I would have gone, but it's too late now.  I suspect all 6 of us who were using federal funding would say the same thing.  I had fun, I came out of the program with very good friends but the program itself was useless.

Now on to the book edits.

I give up or give in, whatever

Starting the job search in Orange County this week.  San Diego legal transactional jobs have dried up to the point they're nearly non-existent.  I just did a direct hire in Carlsbad that was the job from h*ll (with 3 interviews) so maybe it's time to look elsewhere.  I RAN out of there after the first week.. I'm looking at it as a temp-to-hire that was the wrong fit.  Really the wrong fit.

Orange County here I come... right on top of Seth and Alli, not what I wanted to do.  But you know what ... I need a job and San Diego isn't providing much opportunity.  I could go back to the northwest but there's nothing going on there either.  AND the weather would kill my knees.

God .. please lead..

My eyes are crossing

So I've been at the library for two hours plugged into their wi-fi.  Watched Obama's campaign launch from Ohio (streamed online) and then spent about an hour-ish editing the book.  I need to print all the pages to see what I have and lay them out so I can make sense of what I've written, if there is indeed any sense to be made.  Seems I've duplicated thoughts, same idea written in a different way in different sections.  I drive myself a little nuts.  A.D.D. I suspect.  At 20 cents a page, my 50 pages would cost $10 to print here.  Eeesh! 

I decided this morning to write the book in first person.  It's my story after all.  I do have snippets of other people's experiences to add, but by and large, it's my story.  There's a possibility that I haven't finished this book because writing it makes me sad at what I've lost.  I feel the need to get it out there, though, so that other people can know there's someone else suffering the way they are... especially older people.  This last 3 years has absolutely sucked!

Back to the drawing board ..

Day 2.  I accepted a job three weeks ago and started last week.  The job was absolutely the worst fit in the world for me.  After a full week, I announced my departure to the boss.  It was a nightmarish job.. not at all what I had envisioned and the personality differences were blaringly stark.  Rather than go into the full magilla here, let me just say when I walked out of the office, my burden had been lightened.  Unfortunately, that job paid well and had health care benefits.  Started my job search Friday afternoon by calling various staffing agencies and reactivating my name on their lists.  If I learned anything from this last fiasco, it's that I need to stay out of law firms, maybe return to an executive assistant position which I was doing prior to going back to college in the mid-90's.  I liked that work and was good at it.  The job(s) doesn't have to pay extremely well but I have to like it and the people.  Law firms can be toxic.  I'm looking for a nice balance of work and personalities.  I know the job is out there ~ I just have to find it.  Actually, in God's time.

In the meantime, working on the book...

I'm writing a book.  It's a book .. well .. a book about me.  It's a book about me and my journey, my navigation, if you will, through the maze of the "economic downturn." I began this endeavor the year I was laid off: 2009.  Over the course of the past three years, I've had 3 part-time jobs.  I also became known as a 99'er in the unemployment insurance arena.  Many of my friends have tried to navigate the maze ~ some successfully, some not so much.  I'll include reminiscences and stories about them, sometimes in their own words, and how they've fared.  Mostly it's about my journey.  So far it's been cathartic.  If I write it down and can look at what's happened to me, maybe it'll sink in.

Working title: I AM the Middle Class:  An American Woman's Not So Pleasant Journey Through the Maze of the Current Economic Downturn.  Quite a mouthful, but it's the essence of my story.  May or may not end with a happy ending.  Maybe I should write it as a novel based on facts.  Maybe I should write it as a memoir.  Plummeting from the middle class to the working class poor is a bitter pill to swallow and I believe my story is worthy of print, however I decide to proceed. 

I'll be e-publishing, first with the AARP online folks, then we'll see.  I want to assure people, and by people I mean senior citizens, that they're not alone.  There are millions of us going through the same thing.

Stay tuned ..